I see clearly: it is the consciousness which is directing and not the thought. So, if the consciousness is quietly open to the Divine, everything is all right. All the while things are happening in the consciousness as if all that was coming from the whole world [gesture of assault from all sides]: all that denies or contradicts the divine Action—that is coming thus all the time [same gesture]. And so, if I know how to be quiet [gesture of self-offering, hands open upward], in an attitude of… [Mother smiles] of non-existence, a kind of… I do not know if it is transparency… I do not know if it should be called transparency or immobility; in any case it is something in the consciousness that is like this [same gesture of self-offering, hands open]; when the consciousness is like that everything goes well, but as soon as it starts moving, that is to say, the person shows itself in any way, it becomes detestable. But it is very strong.
You know, there are a thousand experiences of the physical body which say: “Ooh! This beatific state is an impossibility”—it is this stupidity which delays everything. It is as though it were the cells—the cells of the body—that are accustomed to fight and suffer and are unable to accept that things could be like that [same gesture of self-giving, hands opened]. But when it is like that… it is wonderful.
Only, it does not last. It does not last all the time—all the time, all the time things are happening [same gesture of universal assault]. But now I see very well, very clearly—very clearly: consciousness is replacing thought.
And… (how to say it?) the difference: thought is something which goes this way [gesture of whirling], it moves, it moves… consciousness is something that is like this [gesture of hands opened, offered upward]. I cannot explain.320
[Mother closes her eyes and remains with the hands open.]
Do you have anything to say or ask?
If one could remain without being troubled, that would make a great difference.
A great difference.
You understand? My body is beginning—just beginning—to know that the divine side means a life [Mother stretches out her arms into an immensity], a life progressive and luminous; but the accumulation of past experiences says: “Oh! It is not possible!” There you are, and so it is this idiotic “not possible” which delays and spoils things.
This is based upon the fact that as soon as the body gives up the true attitude, it becomes painful, everything hurts, everything is suffering—the impression is there as of death, of dissolution everywhere. Therefore it is that which strengthens… the imbecility of Matter.
So, to tell the truth, I would rather not speak unless it is to answer a precise question.
[After a silence] Do you feel that you have passed beyond thought?321
Yes, then it is all right, you are on the right path.
Well, for me, all the things on which I used to rely for action have as though crumbled down purposely so that I may say (for everything, even the most trifling things): “What Thou willest.” It has become… it has become my only refuge.
To an ordinary observer who does not know, one has to agree to pass for a blockhead.
Possibly. [Mother laughs.] So much the better for them.
Very often, very often, I ask the Lord, “How can I help, now that I can no more see clearly nor speak clearly?” It is a state.… And the body does not feel the decline! It is convinced that if tomorrow the Lord wanted it to take up again its activities, it would be able to do so. The strength is there [Mother touches her arms, her muscles], at times a mighty strength!… Why!… The condition is willed so that… I might be left quiet.
Yes, that I know. That I know. Tremendous. Yes, a Force.…