I experienced this morning, for two hours, a kind of blissful state in which there was such a clear consciousness that all the forms of life, in all the worlds and at all moments, are the expression of a choice—one chooses to be like that.
It is very difficult to say with words.… The kind of obligation in which one believes oneself to be living, to which one believes oneself to be submitted, had completely disappeared, and it was quite a spontaneous and natural perception that the life upon earth, and the life in other worlds, and all kinds of life upon earth and all kinds of life in other worlds are simply a question of choice: you have chosen to be like that and you choose constantly to be like this or to be like that, or whether it happens like this or it happens like that; and you choose also to believe that you are submitted to a fatality or to a necessity or to a law which compels you—everything is a question of choice. And there was a feeling of lightness, of freedom, and then a smile for everything. At the same time it gives you a tremendous power. All feeling of compulsion, of necessity—of fatality still more—had disappeared completely. All the illnesses, all the happenings, all the dramas, all that: disappeared. And this concrete and so brutal reality of the physical life: gone completely.
I lived this state for more than an hour and a half this morning. Afterwards, I was obliged to return… to a state which appears to me artificial, but which is compulsory because of others, by contact with others and with things, and the innumerable quantity of things to be done. But all the same, in the background the experience remains. And there remains a kind of amused smile for all the complications of life—the state in which one finds oneself has been the fact of a choice, and for the individual the freedom of choice is there, and people have forgotten it. It is this that is so interesting.31
I saw at the same time the whole tableau of human knowledge (because when those states are there, all human realisations, all human knowledge, come like a panorama before the new state and are put each in its place—always, always when an experience comes, it is as though retrospective) and I saw all the theories, the beliefs, the philosophies, the way they link themselves with the new state; it was amusing.
And that does not call for a rest. These experiences are so concrete, so spontaneous and real (they are not the result of a will, still less of an effort) that they do not call for a rest.
But those who managed to have this experience for whatever reason, and who had not a thorough philosophical and mental preparation (the saints or in fact all those who led a spiritual life) had then a very acute impression of the unreality of life and the illusion of life. But it is only a narrow view. It is not that, it is not that. Everything is a choice! Everything, everything. The Lord’s choice, but in us, not there [gesture upward]: here. And we do not know it, it is quite within the heart of ourselves. And when we know it, we can choose—we can choose our choice, it is wonderful.
And this sort of fatality and bondage and hardness of existence, all have disappeared. All disappeared. It was light blue, light rose, all luminous and limpid and light.
I conceive very well that this is not an absolute thing; it was only a way of being, but a very charming way of being.… Usually those who have not a sufficient intellectual preparation, when they have an experience of this kind, they believe they have caught the sole truth. And then with that, they dogmatise. But I saw quite well that it is not that, it is one way of being, although it is a fine way of being, well, infinitely superior to what we have here. And we can have it here: I have had it. I have had it in an altogether concrete way. And there is always something that is not all right, wrong here or wrong there, or this or that, and then circumstances also that are not all right; always there are difficulties—all that… that changes colour. 32And it becomes light, light—light, supple. All the hardness and stiffness: gone.
And the feeling also that if you choose to be like that, you can continue to be like that. And it is true. It is all the wrong habits—evidently millennial habits upon earth—all the wrong habits that prevent you. But there is no reason why this should not be a permanent state. Because this changes everything! Everything changes!… It is evident that if one becomes master of that state, one can change all the circumstances around oneself.
In recent times (for a rather long time), there was this same difficulty with the body, which is not limited and shut up in a shell as is generally the case, and which receives spontaneously, not even with the feeling of “receiving”, which has the vibrations of all that surrounds it. And then, when all that surrounds it is, from the mental and moral point of view, closed, uncomprehending, it is a little difficult; that is to say, they are elements that come and must be transformed. It is a kind of totality, a very multiple and very unstable totality, representing your field of consciousness and action, and upon which you must work all the time to re-establish a harmony, a minimum of harmony. And when around you something goes “wrong” according to the ordinary idea, it makes the work a little difficult. It is at the same time tenuous and persistent and obstinate. I remember, just before the experience, there was in the body an aspiration for harmony, for light, for a kind of smiling peace. The body aspired above all for a harmony, because of all these things that grind and scrape. And probably the experience has been the result of this aspiration.
Only, I have noted that in the life of this body I have never had the same experience twice—I may have the same kind of experience in a higher degree or in a much vaster degree, but never identically the same. And I do not retain the experience; I am all the while, all the while [gesture forward], all the while on the march. Yes, the work of transformation of the consciousness 33is so rapid, must be done so quickly that there is no time to enjoy or dwell upon an experience or get some satisfaction in it for any length of time—it is impossible. It comes forcefully, very forcefully; that is to say, it changes everything. And then something else comes. It is the same with regard to the transformation of the cells. All kinds of small disorders come, but they are visibly, for the consciousness, disorders of transformation; and then one is busy with that point, one wants to re-establish the order. And at the same time there is something that knows pertinently that the disorder has come to make the transition from ordinary automatic functioning to conscious functioning under the direct guidance and the direct influence of the Supreme. And the body itself knows it; all the same it is not amusing to have pain here or pain there, or to have this or that get out of order, but it knows. And when that point has arrived at a certain degree of transformation, one passes on to another point, then another, then yet another; so nothing is done, no work is done definitively until… everything is ready. Then the same work has to be begun again on a higher or vaster level or with greater intensity or more in detail (that depends upon the case), until the whole is brought to a point homogeneous and ready in a similar way.
As I see it, it is moving as fast as it can, but it takes a long time. And everything is a question of changing the habit. The entire automatic habit of thousands of years has to be changed into a conscious action directly guided by the supreme Consciousness.
One is inclined to say that it is much longer and much more difficult because one is surrounded by people and one acts in the world, but if one were not in such conditions, many things would be forgotten, many. Many things would not be done. There are all kinds of vibrations that have no affinity with this aggregatefnMother is referring to her body and which would never have the occasion 34to touch the transforming Force if I were not in contact with everyone.
It is very evident—it is very evident—that one is placed in the best of conditions and has the maximum possibilities for action… when one wants it sincerely.