The cells, the whole material consciousness obeyed the inner individual consciousness—most often the psychic or the mental (but the mind has been silent since long). But now this material mind is busy organising itself like the other or rather like all the others, like the mind in all the states of being.
It is, as it were, a displacement of the directing will. And there, materially, physically, it is something like a surprise; and a need for identification with the new direction—that is a little difficult. It is difficult also to explain.… It is no more the same thing which makes you act—“to act” means everything, to move, to walk, anything. It is no more the same centre. And then, if through habit you try to cling to the old centre, oh! it makes a great disorder and you must be very careful not to let the habit, the old habit, express itself, manifest itself.It is difficult to say. It is still too much only an action.
Thought here, in this brain, finds it difficult to adapt itself.
Because for two days (two days continuously, I mean) there was all the while an aspiration: “How will this new world be when it becomes material here? How will this new world be?” And then that put me so much “within” that I was… I was not distant, but there was a kind of a thick blanket of haze between me and the world as it is. It was there even today.
[Silence]
This morning, for example, several times, for some time (I do not know how long, but not very short, a quarter of an hour, half an hour, I do not know), the cells of the body, that is to 17say, the form of the body, had the experience that to remain together or to be dissolved depends on a certain attitude—an attitude or a will, something of both will and attitude. And with the perception (sometimes almost double at the same time, one being rather a memory and the other a thing lived) of what makes you move, act, know: the old way as a memory, and the new in which evidently there is no reason to be dissolved unless one chooses it—that has no meaning, it is a meaningless thing: why be dissolved?
And if, at the time when one falls back—it is not exactly that—when the old consciousness comes back to the surface, if one is not very careful, that produces naturally a swoon.
During—oh! it was long—the whole time between five o’clock and quarter to six, it was like that.
That gives, at the same time, the feeling of the unreality of life and of a reality which one might call eternal: the feeling of death does not exist, it means nothing, it is merely a choice. And the dislocation, which has no meaning, which has no reason to be there, is a fantasy.
And then all the old way of seeing, feeling, perceiving, is there behind, like a kind of blanket—a blanket of haze, which renders the contact woolly, imprecise.
Now that I have regained the ordinary consciousness, I can express the thing; otherwise it would be difficult to express. And the contrast or the opposition is painful, a suffering; both complain: the old has the feeling that it swoons, and the new that it is not left quiet. When you are in one or the other, it is all right, but when the two are together, it is not very pleasant. And there is a kind of feeling of uncertainty; you do not know very well where you are, whether you are here or you are there; you do not know exactly.But this change of initiating power, if one may say, this transfer of power, has had upon me the effect of a unique experience, of something that had never taken place before. Unhappily, that did not last long. But the experience has left a kind of certitude 18in the body—it is less uncertain of the future. It came to it, as if to tell it: “It will be like that.”
If that remains, it is evident immortality.
That is the most unconscious part of the physical mind and that is the link joining the physical mind and this material substance. But it is already an organised mind, you must understand. It is the most material part touching the mind.… How can one call this “mind”? You cannot even call it the bodily mind—it is the mind of the cells, it is a cellular mind.
This cellular mind exists in animals, and even a little (very little, as a promise) beginning in the plants—they respond to a mental action. They do respond. As soon as Life manifests, there is already a promise of mind, of mental movement. And in animals it is clear. Whereas this physical mind truly begins to exist only in man. It is this which very little children already have; they already have a physical mind; that is to say, two babies are not the same, their reactions are not the same, there is already a difference. And it is this, above all, which is given to you with the special form of your body, by atavism, and then fully developed by education.
No, the physical mind, as soon as you take up an integral yoga, must be dealt with; but this material mind, the cellular one, I assure you, is altogether new, yes, altogether new.
It is the mind which was like an unco-ordinated substance, which was constantly active, but not organised [Mother makes a gesture of continuous trepidation]. It is this which is now being organised. It is that which is important—for Sri Aurobindo had said that it was unorganisable and it had only to be thrown 20out of existence. And I too had the same impression. But when the action for transformation upon the cells is constant, this material mind begins to be organised. It is this that is wonderful—it begins to be organised. And as it is being organised, it learns to keep silent—that is most remarkable! It learns to keep quiet, keep silent and allow the supreme Force to act without interfering.
The greatest difficulty is in the nerves, because they are so accustomed to the ordinary conscious will that when it stops and the direct Action from the highest is asked for, they go mad, as it were. The other day I had this experience, which lasted more than an hour, and it was difficult; but this taught me many things—many. And all this is what can be called the “transfer of power”; the former power withdraws; and then before the body adapts itself to the new power, there is a period which is critical. As all the cells are in a state of constant aspiration, it goes relatively quickly, but all the same… the minutes are long.But more and more there is a kind of certitude in the cells that whatever happens is in view of this transformation and this transfer of directing power. And even at the time when it is materially painful (not even physically: materially painful), the cells keep this certitude. And then they resist, they bear the suffering without depression, without being affected in any way, with this certitude that it is to prepare for the transformation, the process of transformation and of the transfer of directing power. As I said, it is in the nerves that the experience is the most painful—naturally, because they are the most sensitive cells, those that have the most acute sensation. But they have a very considerable, very spontaneous, spontaneously strong receptivity—without any effort—to the harmonious physical vibration (which is very rare, but still it exists in some individuals). And this physical vibration, what might be called a physical force, a harmonious physical vibration (spontaneously harmonious, without the necessity of a mental vibration, like the vibrations of a flower, for example; there are physical vibrations like that, 21which carry in themselves a harmonious force)—the nerves are extremely sensitive and receptive to this vibration, which puts them right immediately.
It is very interesting, it explains much, explains many things. A day will come when all this will be explained and put in its place. It is not yet the time to reveal, but it is very interesting.
I have truly the impression that it is being organised, the work has begun to be organised.
Naturally, one must carefully avoid allowing a mental organisation to intervene; that is why I do not try to explain too much; the mind would come in and then it is no more that.