Certain apparent weaknesses are sometimes more useful to Thee for Thy work, O Lord, than too evident a perfection. A manifest perfection seems to be the possible prerogative only of one who has withdrawn both from the world and from work in the world. But for him whom Thou hast chosen as one of Thy workers upon earth, I see clearly that certain weaknesses, imperfections (provided they are only apparent and not real), are in Thy eyes more useful, and hence more perfect than perfection itself. And to renounce perfection in its apparent form is part of an integral renunciation of the ignorance of the separate self.
Is that why, O Lord, Thou givest me only so rarely the ecstasy of complete identification and perfect consciousness?
I was spoiled by Thee formerly: Thou madest me live so constantly in Thy Presence.… But now it seems that Thou wouldst teach me to know the unchanging bliss even in darkness, and not to have any preference for either consciousness or unconsciousness.
Beyond all desire, to be plunged in the condition of those who live by desire… strange!
But the strangest thing is that this leaves me perfectly calm, peaceful and content, and that in this darkness I see a great strength, and that in the depth of the night sublime celestial harmonies can also be heard.
Each new step in Thy kingdom, O Lord, is a new cause for wonder!