All that is based on human relationship is unstable and transient, mixed and unsatisfactory; it is only what is established in the Divine and through the Divine that can last and give satisfaction.
21 July 1935
*
I am sure that in the conscious part of your being your relationship with X is what you say it is. But one must always be wary of the subconscious and that is why it is always preferable to have no […] friendships and intimacies, because in the subconscious vital, ties are established which form an obstacle to the sadhana.
My dear child, my blessings are with you.
*
A friendship free from desire and attachment might be the ideal solution, but to be carried out it requires a perfect mastery over oneself and an unshakable discipline of the vital and the body. And as for the moment it is not yet the case, it is wiser not to tempt the devil and to cut all relations.
*
There was a time when you were very passionate and your affections degenerated immediately into passions with all the disequilibrium that this entails.
But now you are more sober and undoubtedly you are more calm and quiet, until the day there will be no attachments any longer but luminous and sweet sympathies without any demand or egoism.
*
284All depends upon the kind of attraction.
If it is a physical attraction, the need, the instinct of the animal pushing it to reproduction, the best thing is that you leave the place and not see X again. For this would mean that this person’s influence awakens and encourages the lower instincts.
If it is a vital attraction you can try to purify and control it, by avoiding a too close intimacy and cutting down your relation to what is indispensable when living in the same house.
If it is a sentimental and emotional attraction, it is easier to channelise and turn it to the Divine by confining your relations to a common seeking for the Divine and the spiritual life.
Then all will depend on your sincerity and reciprocal goodwill.
*
I very much appreciate your frankness and your sincerity. It is true that it is extremely difficult to keep free from vital mixture any close relation with human beings. But the remedy is not to cut all such relations, but to be constantly vigilant (on one’s guard) and not to allow the vital attractiveness to rule one’s actions.
29 August 1950
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Keep yourself free from all human attachment and you will be happy.
6 June 1954
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Remembrance is a dangerous ally of attachment.
*
For the time being, it is better to keep quiet and concentrate on your inner development. Later, when you feel free from every trace of attachment, you will be able to resume your 285correspondence spontaneously and without difficulty; it will then be useful and profitable. But the rule is always to realise yourself what you wish to give to others.
17 April 1956
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Take advantage of the circumstances to get rid of all attachment to the members of your family.
You must learn that you have no more brothers, sister, father, mother, except Sri Aurobindo and myself, and you must feel free and unconcerned whatever happens to them. We are your whole family, your protection, your all in all.